June 1, 2009
The world changed today at 9:00. There were plenty of things going on – the start of hurricane season 2009 and GM’s announcement of filing for bankruptcy to name a couple. But the biggest news was the appearance of one small pink line.
Tam had taken a couple of tests over the last week, each one turning up negative. She kept saying that something didn’t quite feel right, though. Well, not quite. What she said was that she didn’t feel like her cycle – now late – was about to start.
Fast forward now to Monday morning, 9:05. I got an e-mail from Tam, but not from her work address, or from her AOL address. It was a Sprint picture message, and the picture was a QuickVue test. A test that will most likely end up enshrined somewhere in our home. It had a dark blue control line, and a faint pink test line. And we know what pink means. (At least, I knew once I did a holy crap Google search for QuickVue test results)
It’s still a long road ahead, and of course we’re going to confirm things with a blood test (confirmed, by the way), but it looks like it’s official, and months of trying without success have finally yielded the results we’ve been hoping for. This father’s day is going to have a special meaning to me, because for the first time, I’m going to be one.
Everything else is secondary now. The volume on the drama that sometimes surrounds us is suddenly turned way down. This is the time that we’ve hoped for, and worked for, and it’s finally here. I’m excited and happy and scared to death. I want everything to go perfectly. I want Tam to be healthy throughout the pregnancy, and I pray to God that we are blessed with a healthy baby. I would say a healthy baby girl, but I don’t want to ask too much all at once.
A miracle has happened here. An everyday miracle that happens thousands of times every day across the world, but now it’s happened for us. I know that I’m going to be a sucker for this kid. I’m going to have to try my hardest not to spoil her (or him). The time for “what if” and “do you think “ has passed, and now we get to do what we’ve been hoping for/scared to death of. We get to raise a child together. I hope we do it right.
The funny thing about the timeline is that by the time you conceive, you’re technically already two weeks pregnant. Go figure. So by the time you’re late, and thinking that something might be going on, it takes a little time for it to show up on a test. So here we are, June 1st, - the first day that we know that we’re going to be parents – and one of the nine months has already passed. It’s like getting on a rollercoaster and by the time you realize you’re on it, it’s already about to crest the first hill and you barely have time to catch your breath. This is just one of many things I’m going to learn in the coming months.